there are so many reasons for me to hate summer. i hate sweating, i forget to drink water, every outdoor event is crowded as hell, sex with my sweetie is [almost] too sweaty.....
many punk shows do not have air conditioning, i don't look all that great in a bikini and no one wants to get a massage when it's 100 degrees out. i'mma strugglin for the dough. tryin to figure out if i should just apply for some shitty part time job just for the summer while business is bad in massage world or if i should just find an other hustle on the temporary. the thing is i'm not very motivated to be good at anything. wahhh.
in other and better news.. me and my 3 lovely roommates signed the lease on our apartmets and i successfully with the help of my best men, my day,boyfriend adam and good friend brian, moved all of my shit from the old squat house to the new house. i'm just a little worried abiut the folks who remain at the ole squat. it's really a disaster. as much as a disaster the place is, i cant help but to feel like i am abandoning my child that just went down the wrong path. but...there's really nothing left to fight for. the space is occupied by rats and revolutionary minds that i'm afraid are far too optimistic. i can only hope that those who have the energy and confidence to keep fightng the good fight in order to pave the path for a rent-free future for everyone, will do so successfully, but i am tired. one can say i'm selling out and they're probably right but i am not the kind of person that's going to lead the world into a revolution they are neither asking nor ready for. i am content taking life as it goes and making an impact on the people closest to me and that is not wrong or less radical.
about my new place, all everyone says is bad things about the place. about the gang wars and robberies. my roommate overheard aneighborhood girl saying, "hell no i'd never live here this block is crazy!" and all of our parents were less than happy when they found out where we were moving. i'm happy to have a beautiful home with three beautiful people but i hope i don't have to feel uneasy for too long. linnea and i went to the botanica on halsted today just to look a nd i ended up spending my last monies on a candle for Oshun. i will make an altar to her to seek protection from her and her mother Yemaya. goddesses of the water to which i closely identify. it gave me a bit of peace of mind. we also bought a blue and white candle to maintain peace and harmony in the house. some hippie shit right? hah.
today i am sitting at work. its 820. and i've found myself frustrated that i have only one client today leaving me the whole day to think abiut how someone i used to call a good friend who now hates me for no apparent reason is intruding on my circle of friends and showing up being fake as hell. she's probably lonely and thst's everyone else's problem i guess but i dont want her near me. hopefully i dont get caught up in the negativity she brings to my soul thinking thoughts (that will not end in good karma for me!) hopefully she stops coming around when she realizes everyone knows she a phony or hopefully she grows up a litte. if not then, all the worst to her and all the best to me and my beloved lovely loves.
til next time, cyberjournal!
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